1
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:43,540
Thank you.

2
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:44,660
Thank you very much.

3
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,680
Thank you.

4
00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:49,060
Thank you.

5
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:50,620
Thank you.

6
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,240
Thank you very much.

7
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:53,840
What a lovely audience.

8
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,000
Well, I must say, you have been a good
audience.

9
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,360
And I'd like to close it up, eh?

10
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,620
Oh, dear, I've had a pain here all day.

11
00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:04,220
Look at that.

12
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:14,510
Oh, isn't it hot?

13
00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:16,310
It's the heat that does it.

14
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,250
It's different every time, isn't it?

15
00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:29,430
Oh, dear, oh, dear.

16
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,760
I went to see my doctor. I had to. He's
ill.

17
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,340
And he said to me, he said, can I help
you? I said, yes.

18
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,080
I said, I get these terrible dreams. He
said, what's that? I said, I keep

19
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,740
dreaming. These beautiful girls keep
coming towards me.

20
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,520
Beautiful girls. I keep pushing them
away. They keep coming towards me. I

21
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,520
pushing them away.

22
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,260
He said, what do you want me to do? I
said, break my arm.

23
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,720
He said, I want you lying down on the
couch.

24
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,240
I said, what for? He said, I want to
sweep out.

25
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:31,440
I said, but seriously, doctor. I said,
seriously.

26
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,500
I said, seriously, doctor.

27
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:41,860
Seriously, doctor. I said, I have broke
my arm in several places.

28
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,800
He said, well, you shouldn't go to those
places.

29
00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,970
barber coming to the front guard. See,
he's turning the spit like that and the

30
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:01,970
flame's getting higher and higher.

31
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:05,448
Higher and higher.

32
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:08,230
See? And he's singing. Oh, soul of me.

33
00:03:09,090 --> 00:03:11,130
No music.

34
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,750
Oh, soul of me.

35
00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:17,810
Farewell.

36
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,150
And the flame's getting higher and
higher.

37
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,630
And a drunk walks by. He says, your
singing's all right, mate. A monkey's on

38
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,630
fire.

39
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,600
.

40
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,240
Yes.

41
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,660
just told me just before the show.

42
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:43,360
And she said to me, I've got water in a
carburettor.

43
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,420
I said, where's the car? She said, in
the river.

44
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,060
Oh, excuse me, that reminds me.

45
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:57,920
One minute, please.

46
00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:02,540
Hello?

47
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,180
Is that the GPO?

48
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:11,130
Look, I won't complain about my... my
phone bills.

49
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,190
They keep going up and up.

50
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:16,970
But why are they so big?

51
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:53,560
with a bird on his head.

52
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,540
And the doctor said, what can I do for
you?

53
00:06:57,940 --> 00:07:00,300
And the bird said, would you take this
man off my feet?

54
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,780
There you go, guys.

55
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,260
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like
you now to meet an old ship...

56
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:38,210
Be brisk.

57
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,920
I speak to Inspector Smith.

58
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,100
Is that your inspector?

59
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:30,960
Well, it's me.

60
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,520
You know me, don't you?

61
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:40,220
Listen, I've got the news you wanted.

62
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:42,300
I can tell you who the killer is.

63
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:50,420
The killer's name is... The killer's
name

64
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:51,420
is...

65
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,920
I'll ring him back later. There's too
much noise in here.

66
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,700
I think I've done my leg in.

67
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,620
Good evening, Mr Cooper. Good evening.

68
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:37,440
I believe you have a black belt.

69
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,840
Yes.

70
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,380
And before that, I had a brown belt. And
before that, I had a white belt.

71
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:44,499
And before that?

72
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,500
My trousers were pulled out.

73
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:51,520
Yes, now, these karate experts seem to
care. What are they like?

74
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,040
Marvellous. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Japanese.

75
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,600
All Japanese are. Oh, yes.

76
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,280
And one was about that high.

77
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,480
See?

78
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:04,180
And... And...

79
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:10,360
These six men came towards him, six by
three foot four they were, and they all

80
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,100
came towards him and attacked him at the
same time. And what happened?

81
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:14,340
They murdered him.

82
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:18,980
Tell me. No, not yet. No.

83
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:20,900
Tell me.

84
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,220
It's remarkable, yes.

85
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:34,520
Now, what would you do if a man came
towards you with a gun in his hand?

86
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:37,720
About 50 miles an hour.

87
00:15:40,380 --> 00:15:44,040
You're right. Now is the time. Now is
the time. I believe that you are going

88
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,340
break these four bricks in halves with a
single blow of your hand.

89
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,259
That's quite right.

90
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:49,260
Yes. Quite right.

91
00:15:49,420 --> 00:15:53,260
See, because, look, that there is like
solid steel.

92
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:54,460
Really?

93
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:57,120
I don't feel any pain.

94
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,520
No pain at all.

95
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,460
Marvellous. This hand is a killer.

96
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,040
No?

97
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:03,540
Yes, go ahead.

98
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:10,750
It's the wrong hand. It's this one.

99
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:21,730
The very famous magic clock.

100
00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:12,790
So hula hacha, I'm a hula hula.

101
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:56,879
Thank you, Chief.

102
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,140
Yes? Anybody here?

103
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,080
Thank you very much.

104
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,260
for a minute. What I should do, I should
go down here like this.

105
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,560
See? Yeah. I should stand here like
that.

106
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,080
Right? And you'll be up there. Yeah. And
I want you to creep towards me and try

107
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,020
to hit me in the back with that plank of
wood.

108
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:53,720
Are you sure about that? Oh, yes.
Because you won't have a chance, you

109
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,120
Because I should stand like that and I
should turn around very quickly like

110
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,120
that. Or I may go that way. I don't
know.

111
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,720
I may go up.

112
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,060
And I should take the wood and jam it in
the eyes like that.

113
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:12,970
Yes, I'm not... Very good at hitting
people. Don't worry. I'll tell you what.

114
00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:15,310
Take your shoes off so I can't hear you
coming down and talking.

115
00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,150
Up here. Up here? Yes.

116
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,730
Right. Just there like that.

117
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,170
Oh, yes.

118
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,790
Right? See? Now, don't forget, Noah.

119
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:33,130
Come down any time you like because I've
got amazing reflexes.

120
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:57,960
I mean, can you, um... I'll tell you
what, can you cough?

121
00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,220
Yeah.

122
00:21:00,580 --> 00:21:02,620
Put your shoes on. Oh.

123
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,260
And this time, when you come down,
cough.

124
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:12,639
Like that.

125
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,140
Yeah, that's it. I mean, you'd better
give me a chance. Oh, of course, yes.

126
00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:18,900
I mean, I've got major reflexes.

127
00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:21,230
But you've got to be fair, haven't you?
Yes, fair is fair.

128
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:22,409
Oh, yes, yes.

129
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:23,550
I do see that.

130
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,390
Right. Right?

131
00:21:25,790 --> 00:21:29,310
Yes. Now, come down, see, as fast, loud
as possible.

132
00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:36,450
I'm beginning to enjoy this.

133
00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:44,930
Can you... Can you sing?

134
00:21:45,730 --> 00:21:48,210
Not very well. Any particular song?

135
00:21:48,410 --> 00:21:50,080
Anything you like. I told you to do
this.

136
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:51,620
Here we are.

137
00:21:51,820 --> 00:21:56,520
You've got your shoes on. I want you to
come up here and sing a song and come

138
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,520
down very heavy like that.

139
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,840
It's a long way to go.

140
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,360
It's a long way to go.

141
00:22:04,820 --> 00:22:05,820
Yes.

142
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,120
Right? Yes.

143
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,540
I want you to sneak up on me.

144
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:10,980
Loudly.

145
00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:17,100
All right? Are you ready?

146
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,480
Okay.

147
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:20,630
That's it.

148
00:22:21,110 --> 00:22:22,550
Surprise, attack, surprise.

149
00:22:23,670 --> 00:22:24,670
Start, baby.

150
00:22:25,090 --> 00:22:26,470
Uh -huh. Where's he gone?

151
00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:39,170
I'll tell you what.

152
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:44,670
How about wearing a blindfold and bang a
big drum?

153
00:22:55,790 --> 00:23:00,690
From the zippy vase or vase, I will now
produce a bouquet of flowers.